Category Archives: Very Short Stories

#30 Into the (British) Abyss

  “Morning Abyss.” “Oh, good morning, sorry I didn’t see you there for a moment.” “Mind if I take my usual stare into you?” “Be my guest, but I hope you won’t mind me staring back?” “Oh, of course not, please do.” “After you then..” “Are you sure?” “Please, I absolutely insist.”  

#29 Be an Angel

“Be an angel and make me a coffee, two sugars,” he says. ‘My pleasure’ I reply, boiling inside but rise to go and make it. The dose is tiny, but over time it accumulates; always fatally and mostly undetectably. “Here you go, just how you like it,” I say, placing the cup on his desk […]

#28 Consumer protection

Caution: Hot beverage may be hot. Do not eat this cup. These nuts may contain traces of nuts. Processed in an environment that contains deadly nerve agents. This packaging is made out of recycled babies. This warning is designed to give the impression of concern for your wellbeing –actually we don’t give a fuck; we […]

#27 T and Cs – a cautionary tale for the digital age

The devil’s in the detail, so they say and so next time you’re flicking past pages of bumf before blithely hitting that Accept button, my advice is: take care. On a whim, I installed a harmless little amusement and accepted the Terms and Conditions without even perusing the fine print. The result? I sold my […]

#26 20-20 Hindsight

40 years, five kids, twelve grandkids, five houses, a fleet of cars, six dogs, four cats, umpteen goldfish and one fortunately undetected murder later, I think I can safely say, I married the wrong sister.

#25 Dumped

They were only two battered old stools, but unloading them at the recycling centre, I remembered how we had bought them together, how we had sat at that old breakfast bar in our first home and ate and drank and talked and laughed till the wine ran out of our noses. Did we make a […]

#23 Animals

“We’re animals man, nothing more than fucking animals, smart ones sure, but the beast’s skin tight cage can get stretched awfully thin. “Don’t you ever want to go on the hunt? Run rampant, run with the pack, stalk through the shadowed night, howling at that moon, embracing the beast within? “On the prowl, senses primed, […]

#22 You have a new message…

“It is you who create our heart of darkness. You with your unquenchable thirst for the new black gold. You with your LOLs, your Facebook updates, your petty Twitterings, the empty all-consuming social media addiction which passes for your lives. “There is no connected world here, no network, just the tears of our brutalised women […]

#21 Light

“What do I know? Perhaps much, probably little. Human relationships? Ah yes, them. So complex, so fragile, each swinging precariously on a silken pendulum, translucent, almost invisible, in a world of sharp edges. One cannot truly find oneself in another, but we must become a slave to be set free, be able to look each […]

#20 Lifescore

Wake (+5) bolt breakfast (+5 indigestion), delays into Euston (+20 frustration +10 rage) but make office in nick of time (+5 work kudos). Light flirting with canteen girl (+10 self image), chug five cups of strong coffee (+4 motivation +4 gibbering +2 paranoia). Plough through latest round of witless emails and dull memos (-20 motivation) […]